Last Drop Blog

Sobriety one day at a time

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  • 4 Years

    I have been sober for four years now.

    The more things change the more they stay the same.

    I never pictured what my life would look like being sober for this long. I was consumed in fear and self when I first started this sobriety journey. I was 23 when I made the decision to quit drinking. It became fairly obvious to me that I had little to no control over alcohol. I was a blackout drunk. I drank to the point of blacking out more times than I could ever count. I tried moderation. I tried just about every trick in the book to have a “normal drinking night” and no luck. I got embarrassed for myself. I got sad for myself. I got nervous about what my future could hold. A life without drinking was so nerve-wracking to me. I worried I would lose my friends. I worried I would be forever sad and anxious. I worried I would have permanent low self-esteem. I worried I would never find love. I worried I would never love myself. I worried I would lose my personality. I worried I would stop living a life worth living.

    With all these worries however I still made the decision to face the uncertainty and I am more grateful than ever that I did. I kept my friends and gained more. I am not forever sad and anxious (only sometimes, but that is human nature). I am more confident in myself than ever before. I found love. I love myself. I am still the same person I was before I started this journey. I am living a life worth living.

    My life hasn’t really drastically changed and I say that with happiness. Everything works out just the way it was intended.

    I am 27 now, turning 28 soon. A lot of the shit I once worried about never crosses my mind. Shit is constantly changing whether you have a say in it or not.

    The biggest change I made in the last year was committing to AA. The TLDR on AA for those reading who have never been is fellowship, helping others, and connecting with a higher power.

    I will not venture to deep into religion talk here but for me personally I rely a lot more heavily on my higher power than I ever did before in my life.

    I realized that a lot of my stress was me acting as my own higher power. What I mean by that is, the more and more boxes I would check that I deemed to be the “right things” the more and more agitated I would get when things didn’t go my way. You are not in control. Life has gotten a whole lot more peaceful for me when I constantly remind myself of this. The easiest way for me to do it is to connect to that higher power and ask for acceptance of the things I cannot control.

    “Living life on life’s terms”.

    I will stop talking about AA now.

    Anyways, I am four years sober today and life in generally pretty good. I feel a whole lot better than I did when I first got sober that is for certain.

    If you want to get sober I will say it is not easy but it gets easier. Life still happens I just feel a whole lot more equipped to deal with it now that I am sober. I got nothing to run to anymore and that is a good feeling.

    I would tell you that you truly have nothing to worry about but I know that it is nearly impossible to believe that. You will just need to keep taking things one day at a time and watch some of those worries come and go.

    Sober people understand sober people. There truly is strength in numbers. Finding people on a similar journey may make all the difference for you. It made a huge difference for me.

    If I could go back to the 23 year old me who was on day 1 of this journey I would say:

    • you don’t even miss drinking anymore
    • you still have all your old friends
    • you still have the same sense of humor
    • you actually gained confidence
    • you finally put on some weight although you are still kinda skinny but you care a lot less about your appearance in a good way
    • your stomach doesn’t hurt as more and you cant recall the last time you threw up
    • you are not all that unique and it was a great thing for you to realize
    • you have a beautiful girlfriend you didn’t need any liquid courage in the first place
    • you established a belief in yourself you never knew was there
    • you traveled internationally and traveled solo
    • you moved to a new city by yourself and managed to make it work AND you still live there today
    • you feel good more days than you feel bad which is all you hoped for in the beginning

    Grateful for another day. If you need help or someone to talk to please dont hesitate to reach out. You can DM me on instagram @willhue12 or hulett.will97@gmail.com and I will get back to you.

  • May Reflection

    Leaving a bachelor party. I havent blogged in quite some time. Admittedly, I am a little over talking about sobriety publicly or at least unprovoked. I am always happy to share my story when asked however, at times I feel odd blogging and posting about it frequently. I feel like I am at a point now in my life where I am active in my sobriety in a way that makes more sense. I go to AA meetings. I talk with my sponsor. I have friends who are in recovery. I talk about my sobriety with those people. It has helped and I do not plan to stop. Last year when attempting to start a sobriety podcast, I chatted with someone in recovery who said “being sober is the least interesting thing about me”. Today, years later, this resonates with me quite a bit. Now that I have been sober for almost 4 years, I am starting to understand that being sober is an aspect of my life but not my identity. During this podcast venture, I also received a message from someone in the Austin community who I had asked to help me out. They politely declined and explained why. They got tired of “being the sober guy”. This individual was a sobriety coach at one point I believe. For whatever reason, as I sit here today I feel like I am ready for sobriety to be one of the least interesting things about me and I got a little tired of trying to be the “sober guy”. 

    The more connected I get with other sober people the more I realize I am not alone. I did the whole “I am gonna get sober and totally reinvent myself and be successful and get rich and people will be shocked and amazed” type of mindset. I still very much cared about what others thought of me, to be honest I still do, it is probably one of my biggest fears. I would like to think that I am getting much better at facing this fear. I am learning how selfish my mindset was and can be from time to time. I am learning a lot about myself still, I am more accepting of myself, I am more aware of what does and does not work for me in this life. The most important thing I am learning lately is that none of this works If I am consumed in self. Life has a funny way of pushing me in the right direction when I am prioritizing others. 

    As I am heading back to Austin, I am feeling so incredibly grateful to have spent a weekend with some lifelong friends. I am grateful I get to experience life with those guys. 

    I am feeling inspired to continue to try and become the best version of myself I can be. I am inspired to prioritize others as best I can. 

    As I get older and hopefully a bit more wiser, I know how dark this life can get without human connection. I know that real true human connection for me happens and strengthens while I am working on my sobriety. I know that there are so many people out there working to better themselves. I know that it takes constant work to experience true connectedness with others. I know that the work is worth it. 

    It is easy to get lost in this life. What is important is having the willingness to try and find your way again as many times as it takes. Hopefully you get lost and find your way enough to know the best way to do it is through other human beings.

    This life shit is too hard and too short to try and figure it all out yourself. 

    If you are struggling, you are not alone. I have struggled quite a bit and will surely struggle again. 

    Surround yourself with the right people and let the rest play out. 

  • Wake Up the World is Ending

    • 7:00 am Wake Up
    • 7:01 am Panic

    This has been my reality for quite some time. I have been having an incredibly difficult time with life in general.

    Consumed in self. Uncertain. Unhappy.

    I only recently came to accept I was not in a great place mentally. It is not expected to bounce back and feel like I am 100%.

    I started a demanding job. I have disliked it a lot (don’t get me started). I have found myself complaining often. Wishing for some better reality. Wondering what it is I truly want out of life. Wondering how I can change my current reality.

    Trying to press some of the buttons that are out of my reach. When I get like this I get really impulsive. I try to make situations worse for myself. I am drawn to letting it all burn.

    I am being shown why it truly is unsustainable to be consumed in self for long periods of time.

    “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others” – Ghandi

    For my entire life I simply assumed to find my way I must look inward. I must wake up at a certain time. I must introduce more struggle.

    This mindset has always failed me.

    Going back to my previous blog about faith I have learned that this is how I sustain.

    I control so little in this life. The time I have here on this earth is not solely for me. This is a communal existence.

    I don’t have too much to say. I just felt like coming on here and saying that truthfully I am still struggling but I do want to say it feels like a new struggle.

    It feels like struggle that is necessary to establish boundaries, to see the importance of human connection, to let go from the controlling mindset that gets me nowhere, to feel less consumed in self.

    It is funny that selfishness is one of the largest themes in sobriety yet it took me over 3 years of removing the substance to acknowledge that I was and am indeed selfish. I do not say that to talk down on myself. I say that because I believe we all owe it to ourselves to be open to discovering more about who we are.

    Life is a work in progress. No one has the secret formula. I am just grateful that I was able to sit here and write this without spiraling about that thing I am going to wake up and do tomorrow morning that I will not name.

    Got some good people around me in my life right now.

  • Getting More Involved in my Sobriety

    My sobriety date is 8/8/2021. I “white knuckled” the first three or so years of my sobriety. For people not familiar, that typically means no AA meetings, no rehab, no treatment facilities, no strong sober support group.

    I was young when I made the decision to stop drinking, relatively speaking. I was 23 about to turn 24. I was a weekend binge drinker. I managed to get by during my active drinking days. I graduated college. I held full time-jobs. I moved out from home. I paid rent. I socialized. They typical shit. I never went to rehab. I never hit a true true rock bottom. Although everyones rock bottom may look differently. For me it was a collection of rough nights, declining health, depressed Sunday’s, anxious Monday’s and a whole lot of darkness surrounding my future.

    When I made the decision to stop drinking. I told a handful of people. I tried to continue on with my life as usual. I struggled with my anxiety more than ever. I had to seek medical help within the first two or three weeks for my anxiety. I got on medication. I went to therapy. I even packed my things and moved to an entirely new city.

    I had a strong hunch that I needed sober friends. I knew that I was drawn to isolation. I went to a sober event and was blessed to meet a great friend. It was within my first few weeks of living in a new city too. I learned a bit about AA through this friend. I met some more people. I had some professional success. I hit 6 months sober. I was able to ride some highs that life provided me when I so desperately needed them.

    Time passed and I continued to stay sober. I still cannot say I was generally happy however. I had my moments, days, or weeks. I was able to travel to cool places, meet cool people, achieve some financial success. I say this to point out that the external things were keeping me afloat mentally. What I refused to realize and what life would soon teach me is my happiness must come from within and I must work for it in ways I may have not yet practiced.

    Life went on. I hit two years sober and then three. I struggled with being what I would call a “dry drunk”. Someone who is still sober but refrains from working on the deeper emotional issues that may have gotten them to abuse substances.

    I found myself angry quite a bit. I found myself so so lost in life as of recent. I was certainly afraid. I was having a very hard time allowing myself to feel sad. I thought I deserved a whole lot more that what I was getting.

    I needed to face my feelings recently and it took a lot for me to do this. It took getting fired from a job, it took conversations from loved ones, it took upcoming events building internal stress, and ultimately it took a breakdown.

    I needed to admit that I was lost. I was unhappy. I was depressed. I was angry. I needed help. I knew I needed to get more active in my sobriety and I knew that giving AA an honest try was worth it. I was lucky enough to have met some great friends in recovery and was able to connect with them during this time.

    Being reminded that how you may be feeling in these times has once been felt by a friend is a needed relief. I needed to breakdown to call these people. I needed to breakdown to go to my first AA meeting after being sober for 3 years and 3 months. I needed to admit to others I was in a bad place mentally. I needed to do so to be accountable to myself.

    I havent just magically gotten happy and found my way recently. I have however learned to understand what may be more sustainable for me in my life going forward. Remaining close to people who are in recovery is very important to me. These people inspire me. These people build me and others around them up. These people work consistently to understand what some of their flaws may be. These people work to remain humble and admit when they are in the wrong.

    From the outside looking in things can happen to you in life that may be incredible and evoke jealousy from others. What others will never know is how you feel about yourself internally. That to me is and needs to continue to be my top priority in life. I say that not because I owe it to myself but more importantly, I owe it to anyone and everyone I encounter in this lifetime.

    I can be pessimistic often. I complain all the time. I can let my problems be everyone else’s. I can “me me me” my way into losing good relationships. I can be rude to total strangers. All because I lean into unsustainable life ways for the sole purpose of pleasing myself.

    What is important to me now is trying to be better at identifying when I fall back into these thoughts. Identifying when I am leaning into self centeredness, which I have the past few weeks or so, and newsflash I havent been that happy. Going to my support system. Connecting to bigger picture things. Recognizing that I have limited control over life as a whole. Understanding that what is ultimately important is how I treat other human beings.

    I am back in therapy. I go to at least one AA meeting a week and have since October. I try (emphasis on try) to ask my family and friends how they’re doing more often. (This has made me realize maybe how little I have done so in the past). I try to let go when life feels unmanageable. I try to be more honest with how I am feeling.

    I have noticed that the more effort I put into trying to do these things the more presently I show up. The more I am less concerned with me and my life. The more I am happy.

    Love you all. Truly wish each and everyone of you happiness. I hope that you can remain open to opportunities that may come your way. I hope you find inspiration to learn and grow. I hope that if you are struggling right now you can find the strength to admit it. I hope if you find the strength to admit it you feel a weight come off your shoulder and you feel more open to the help from others. People are out there ready and willing to help.

  • Faith

    Through sobriety and difficult life moments, I have come to understand the importance of faith.

    I didn’t grow up in the church. When I was younger, I actually always viewed going to church as odd and a waste of time.

    I still do not go to church.

    I do however fully understand and fully respect peoples reliance and belief in a higher power.

    Life is hard.

    Situations in life arise that leave you depressed, lost, and feeling isolated.

    It is so easy for me to have a situation as mentioned arise in my life and look internally. How can I fix this? What did I do to get to this point? Where did I go wrong in my past?

    It can consume me.

    Recently, I had a strong desire to be more active in my sobriety. In saying this, I mean my emotional sobriety.

    For those that have not “worked through sobriety” it is not simply not drinking. That is a HUGE aspect of it. However many people who have substance abuse issues have deeper emotional or mental issues that led them to drink.

    I recognized this early on in my sobriety. I was so anxious all the time. I could hardly leave my apartment without struggling to breathe. Typical errands became the hardest parts of my day. My self esteem and self belief was buried somewhere.

    I went to the doctors and went to therapy for the first time in my life. I started to realize and understand that I was not ok mentally.

    I started to realize that these feelings were not abnormal.

    I really tried to do a ton of things on my own the first year or two of my sobriety.

    I had a sober friend who would ask me if I am “going to meetings” I had my therapist tell me about AA. I guess I was not ready to admit to myself that that was me.

    I was still very self centered and still thought I could handle life on my own.

    I was making baby steps to connect with others and talk about how I was feeling.

    I moved down to Austin to remove myself from my former living environment. I started going to The Phoenix events, a sober fitness community. I met some sober friends.

    I learned a bit more about AA through some sober friends. I still thought nothing of it. I never really envisioned myself in AA.

    Now that it is nearing the end of 2024. I am 27 years old. I am 3 years and 4 months sober. I have had success and experienced failure. I feel a bit more settled in terms of my social circle. I have lifelong friends who I am certain will remain lifelong friends. I am in a healthy relationship. I am feeling more committed than ever to AA and working through my sobriety.

    It is not even the fact that I have strongly questioned drinking this past year. It is more so the fact that this past year has been incredibly difficult. I believe a massive part of that being the case is because I was so self centered. I do not say that to bash myself. I say that because I am learning that is not the way I want to live my life.

    I have also learned also through working my sobriety these past few months, that alcoholics are self centered. I have personally felt like BECAUSE I am sober and BECAUSE I put in the work on myself, I am deserving of something grand.

    The honest truth is that I am deserving of absolutely nothing. It is a blessing to even be alive on this earth. It is a blessing to be so connected to other human beings and loved ones. It is a blessing every single day to wake up.

    I feel as if deep down I have always been connected to a higher power. I have, just like many things in my life up until this point, refused to allow myself to feel that.

    I am absolutely no expert in sobriety. I am no expert in life in your 20s. I am simply documenting and learning.

    I am working to understand that there is so much in life that I cannot control. It is freeing IF I allow myself to work daily to understand this.

    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”

    Good things have happened in my life when I have tried each day to show up understanding that I do not have as much control as I once thought.

    I encourage anyone who has read this to question if you have been living a self-centered life recently. For me the answer to that question was and almost always in YES. I am working to understand that it is not the way I want to live my life. It brings my little joy and fulfillment.

    Especially with this time of year I feel it is important to think of others.

  • Dealing with Uncertainty

    Uncertainty is inevitable.

    Uncertainty can be controlling.

    Uncertainty is an aspect of life and does not need to be a way of life.

    That last part is what I have been leaning into as of late. Right now for me in my life I am uncertain about a lot of things. Specifically it is uncertainty around my next job, my future career path, my financial situation, and I am sure if I think longer and harder I could list 20 more things.

    Accepting the things that are making you uncertain is an important step.

    I am unemployed. I have no money coming in. If this continues, I will run out of money.

    I am accepting that this is my reality and that it is ok. These are some problems in my life right now. We as humans will always have problems in our lives.

    Finding things to be grateful for at all times in spite of these problems is an important step.

    I am only financially responsible for myself and for that I am grateful. I have a network and community of supportive people that I am grateful for. I can physically move my body and take walks to clear my mind and that I am grateful for.

    Voicing, when appropriate, that you are experiencing stress from these uncertainties is important.

    Dont hold it in, TRUST ME. You are not weak or helpless for letting people know that you feel like life is winning. Learning to let go is important. You cannot control everything. Connect with others and be open and vulnerable, it goes a long way.

    Limiting distractions is important.

    You may already feel like your brain is all over the place. Immersing yourself into a news article about the difficult job market while you are looking for work will only enhance your feelings of uncertainty. Stay off reddit threads and stay off LinkedIn and other social medias that commonly leave you feeling tense.

    Checking some daily boxes is important.

    It can feel debilitating when you are engulfed in uncertainty. You can live in the “if… then” limbo. “If I get a job, then I can start my life up again” “If I get in good shape, then I can enjoy my vacation or time off”. Feeling like you are still controlling your personal progress through daily checklists is nice. When I fall off or stop doing this, I notice myself feeling more tense and more confused about my direction in life. If I dedicate time each day to physical health, journaling, reading, connecting with others and complete these things, I feel better.

    Getting comfortable with uncertainty is important. It is an aspect of life and not a way of life. You do not have to live in uncertainty land. Preparation for problems. Life will always come with problems to solve or to work around. Sometimes facing todays problems poorly makes you more prepared to face tomorrows problems more appropriately.

    Acknowledge how you feel. Try your best to remove self judgement from your feelings. Let people know how you are feeling.

  • From My Old Posts….

    I have said in the past that writing and journaling is so impactful because you are becoming your own teacher.

    Many of the things I have documented or wrote remain true to this day.

    Occasionally I will go back through journals or this blog and be reminded of harsh truths, important habits to get back to, bad times, good times, problems left in the past and problems still at the forefront of my life.

    I am going back through posts now. Below are excerpts very relevant to me now. My own self advice I want and plan to take or continue taking.

    From Keeping Pace (5/20/24)

    “You cant have everything be go, go, go or else you’ll never give yourself the time to explore passing thoughts, moments of inspiration, sit through a conversation that you think is taking up too much of your time, etc. You also cant just sit inside by yourself all day thinking your next great move will come to you. In that case you will start to to get wildly comfortable in your space. It can be incredibly detrimental and isolation is not something you want to mess with for too long.”

    • Living alone the past 8 months has led to a lot of isolation. Working on staying out of my apartment for longer periods of time.

    From I Dont Know What to Title This (1/20/24)

    “Additionally, as doom and gloom as it may sound I have been reminding myself that everybody dies. Life is bigger than a job, the status of your finances, the car you drive, the house you live in, the amount of people you know, etc. What you have in front of you right now is important. What you aspire to have one day is nice too and will give you the strength to wake up each day with a growth mindset. Finding a balance between your aspirations and your current state is crucial.”

    • I am unemployed again today and needed to be reminded this. Learning to give myself grace daily is important.

    From Progress Feels Weird (6/19/23)

     “If it weren’t for feeling so shitty today and as of late, I wouldn’t have reconnected with my sober community. It has been months since I have been to an event with them and I decided to attend one tonight. It is almost like I re-discovered the importance of connecting with a sober community through these times. Loneliness cannot be solved by simply being around other people. You must feel connected.”

    • I was feeling quite shitty recently and re-connected with my sober community and was once again reminded of the importance of feeling connected.

    From Why I Think I am an Alcoholic (6/9/22)

    “I have also discovered that because I am an alcoholic I have a pretty addictive/obsessive personality. Simply put, if things dont go the way I had envisioned in my mind I get pretty fucking pissy pretty easily. That is not healthy.”

    • I am an alcoholic. The alcoholic mind loves to feel in control over anything and everything. I drank to escape that mind.

  • Honesty With Yourself

    There are so many signs that can easily be ignored in life. As a recovering alcoholic with 3+ years sobriety I am slowly but surely learning how easy it is for me to bury my feelings.

    I drank for many many reasons. I drank to forget. I drank to feel what I did not want to feel. I drank for confidence. I drank to alleviate pain.

    The importance of sobriety is to dig deeper into the “why”. A substance abuse issue is serious not just because of abusing substances but because of why you find yourself abusing substances.

    For myself anxiety and depression are the deeper factors. Within these things are deeper factors and so on and so forth.

    Sometimes life is just shitty. Don’t take it from me. Take it from the countless people who inspire me and motivate me to be better. Even they admit to going through very difficult time still to this day.

    Fear of feelings is common. Being fearful is ok. It will never go away. EVERYONE has a sense of fear. I think it can be so easy to romanticize a perfect life and feel as if you are working towards a life filled with only positive feelings.

    That life does not exist and it is for the best. Feeling shit even really hard shit feels good because it reminds you that you are here. You are human just like everyone else. Nothing you feel hasnt been felt before by others. I say that not to make you feel like you are “not unique” but to know that you are not alone in this.

    It took me a lot to only recently admit to myself that I am still struggling with anxiety and depressions. For me to admit that it has been controlling me for quite some time.

    I stopped going to therapy. I stopped taking antidepressants. I stopped having vulnerable conversations. I stopped crying. I stopped communicating appropriately to the ones I loved. I was in denial for a long long time.

    I did the work too. I am 3+ years sober and that did not come with no work. When you start feeling better and start feeling emotions in general is when it is MOST IMPORTANT TO CONTINUE DOING THE WORK. If going to therapy made you feel better DO NOT STOP GOING TO THERAPY. If going to AA made you feel better DO NOT STOP GOING TO AA. If planning a coffee chat with a sober friend makes you feel better KEEP PLANNING COFFEE CHATS. If calling you friends and loved ones consistently makes you feel better CALL.

    I say these things with love. I say them with love and forgiveness to myself. I say them with love to whoever reads this.

    It is ok if you disregarded things that are important to you. Sometimes how you feel is not your fault. I put so much pressure on myself the past year or so.

    I blinded myself and shut myself down. I isolated. I avoided my feelings. I distracted myself. I was on total auto-pilot. I hurt people in doing this.

    Some signs that showed me I was depressed and not healthy mentally now that I can reflect because I admit I am depressed are: not answering calls and being slow to respond to others, craving isolation often (being out somewhere and thinking about how being home by myself would feel better), feeling great pressure with how I eat and what I eat, feeling like I need to physically exercise in order to be happy in that very moment (“if i dont go to the gym today I am a piece of shit” kinda thoughts… “if I dont take this yoga class I could have a panic attack”), feeling overwhelmed the very moment I wake up, struggling to fall asleep, tightness in my chest and throat, struggling to speak in tense moments, shutting down when overwhelmed (commonly out in public around a lot of people), feeling like meeting up with friends and doing things is A LOT to comprehend, intense indecisiveness. The list goes on.

    What I have come to learn is that these things are not normal and that is ok. It is important to recognize that these things are not normal so you can catch them when they happen.

    To notice these things I personally need to actively try to be more in tune with my emotional self. It helps being in therapy which I am excited to be going back to in a few days. It helps checking in with myself consistently through practicing mindfulness. It helps when I am actively trying to slow down each day through walks, grounding, deep conversation. It does help when I am exercising and moving my body however for me, this was really all I was doing to maintain my mental health. As a guy I notice it not just in myself but in many others… simply lifting weights is not enough to be mentally healthy. For me lifting weights is not and cannot be viewed as “therapy”. Does it make me feel good nearly every time? Yes. However relying on simply lifting weights as the sole thing to do to increase the state of my physical and mental health is not sustainable.

    I come from a family of alcoholics. I was not born into poverty. I was cared for and provided for. I grew up in a nice suburban town in Massachusetts. I had great friends growing up. I played sports. I did all the things that would commonly be seen as normal and healthy for a child to do.

    Yet still, I suffer with anxiety and depression. I am a recovering alcoholic who abused substances for 8 years.

    No one is immune to mental health struggles. You are not alone. Your problems are no smaller than others. Your problems are the most important things in your life.

    Solve them and know that you do not and likely should not try to solve them alone.

    If you are reading this know that I have problems and I am accepting them and actively working to solve them. I am heading to a recovering meeting for the first time in years, I am going back to therapy for the first time since June 2023, I am reminding myself that I am depressed and anxious and that is ok.

    You are not alone.

  • Navigating My Career Thoughts

    In this video I try and voice my thoughts around my career and the difficulties I have had. At the core of it all I want to truly care about what I do for my career. There are many different ways people can find purpose and fulfillment. While unemployed, I have come to realize how much time is spent working and how a job can truly impact your life.

    We show ourselves we care about so much yet it seems like no one truly cares about their career. I feel like some things you can care for enough to make a careless career STILL incredibly valuable and important. BUT at this stage in my life (27, unemployed, not too many crazy expenses) my question to myself if WHY would I not care about my career or at least TRY to find a career I care about? Nothing against stable jobs that allow you to “work to live” in some instances those may be the best case scenario.

    Just a stressed and lost unemployed person who is eager to find a fulfilling career.

    Grateful to even be in a situation to take time to think this way about a job. Grateful for shelter. Grateful to be sober and clear minded.

  • My Discoveries through my Sobriety Journey

    I am more aware of how I physically feel and why I may feel that way.

    I understand that I have a short social battery and sometimes less is more when it comes to socializing.

    I better understand the importance of connection and genuine relationships.

    I understand that being outside in nature can be a tool utilized daily to slow yourself down.

    I know that anxiety and depression is real.

    I know that so many people have had or currently have issues with drinking.

    I know that my drinking likely led to an unhealthy relationship with food.

    I know that my acid reflux was almost entirely drinking related.

    I know the importance of sleep and how my drinking negatively impacted my sleep.

    I know the importance of therapy.

    I believe I am more empathetic to others having faced my issues while sober.

    I understand how dehydrated I must have been while actively drinking.

    I understand the importance of trusting your intuition.

    I confirmed that I am not the biggest fan of crowded and loud places.

    I realized how much time and energy that my drinking took from me.

    I realized how much money I truly spent on drinking and going out.

    I believe I am a much better person towards my friends and loved ones.

    I understand how emotionally numb my drinking made me.

    I know the importance of feeling bored.

    I know some of the things that led to me drinking in excess.

    I realized a bit more about who I was and what I wanted out of life.

    (Still to this day one of the biggest reasons as to why I got sober was the fear of never reaching my true potential or just never really figuring out who I was. Getting sober does not magically help with that. It does however place your problems and pressing thoughts right in front of you with seemingly no way around it.)